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[23 Aug 2009|10:51pm] |
Be well.
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[03 Aug 2009|12:31am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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There isn't anything remotely remarkable about me or my life.
But there used to be, at least that's what I thought.
I miss the feeling in my hart I had.
There are moments in life when you get this feeling in your hart, I'm not talking about love per se, though love could happen to be one of those moments I guess. These moments have smells, tastes, sights, etc. They fill your being and you find yourself wanting them over and over and over again. Just to feel your hart.
I miss feeling my hart.
I have this to-do/priority list in my head and nothing ever gets checked off on it.
School.
Work.
Music.
Love.
Paint.
Write.
School.
School.
School.
I'm hoping one day to feel my hart from the things the never get checked off.
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[30 Jul 2009|06:37am] |
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Why can't I feel anything for any one but you.
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[09 Jul 2009|12:27am] |
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[23 Jun 2009|04:40pm] |
I need a place to live.
:(
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| Someday, |
[09 Jun 2009|08:41pm] |
| [ |
music |
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A Perfect Circle |
] |
you'll find me.
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[07 Jun 2009|03:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Eamon - Fuck it |
] |
The Air Force and I are breaking up.
Air Force: "It's not you it's me".
Me: I have this sneaking suspicion that it's me.
I'll be home next week duders.
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[14 Feb 2009|09:06pm] |
There are things I never said, things you(all) never knew.
How many things can a girl fuck up in a lifetime?
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[23 Dec 2008|11:52am] |
I like Hawaii.
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[16 Nov 2008|12:25pm] |
holy long hair
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[05 Nov 2008|06:25pm] |
I'm in California.
Soaking up the sun and meeting some really awesome people.
My boyfriend slept with another girl while I was at basic and made-out with my best friend.
I no longer want a boyfriend.
Ever.
I'm lonesome.
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[29 Aug 2008|01:42am] |
I leave for Texas (basic training) in T-11 days.
Then I'm off to Tech school.
Who knows when I'll be back.
I'm going to miss all of you, but I'm so excited for this change.
Alicia Turcotte, you are my lovey lovekins and I MUST see you and watch a sappy girl movie with you.
Nicole Bedard, you, me and Alicia need to watch sleepover and I don't know if you know this but one of the girls from sleepover is in this other completely amazing movie with Jojo called Aquamarine. Though I am sure you are fully aware of its existence.
Joshua Aaron Perry, what the hell is up; we chillin'?
Maxwell James Hansen, I'll watch any Nicole kidman movie you want.
Courtney Keech, come party.
Robert Cole, I probably won't see you, but I love you.
Meghan I can't spell your last name, I hope we get to see each other soon.
To everyone else who reads this and I did not address personally, I apologize. I realized half-way through this I didn't want to sit here any more just to tell you all individually that I would love to see you each before I go.
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[05 Aug 2008|08:30am] |
I feel like I should write something substantial since I don't really do that all that often. Really this probably won't be.
My best friend is not my best friend. Just please stop pretending to care about anything other than what is immediately involving you and only you. It's unbecoming. I don't really think its too much to assume that your close friends are going to be there for you when you need them the most; when I needed her the most was now and she's falling short by an exceedingly incredible amount.
It's amazing how the people you never thought would be there for you, are. It's amazing how the people you spent a lot of time investing trust and emotion into are always the wrong people. It's amazingly shitty when you find this out when it's too late; it's probably been staring me right in the face this whole time. Why do we choose to ignore those things. Why when we see even a hint of it still we turn a blind eye. I'm tired of trying to have faith in the people around me. I need to find faith and surround myself with it and it's friends. I don't want anything to do with anyone else.
I don't do the things I love anymore. I don't paint, I don't read, I don't swim, I don't kayak, I don't write. What I do do is work and sleep and worry and stress, and cry. More and more.
I guess I don't really know what I'm getting at.
Don't worry or stress or cry.
It's not going to be okay and that's the rest of your life.
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[29 Jul 2008|12:14am] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
] |
I really just want to pack up all my things while he's out at a party and never look back.
I don't ever know what to say...
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[20 Jul 2008|10:42am] |
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I don't have a boyfriend, I have a 5-year-old.
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[09 Jul 2008|07:13am] |
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[27 Jun 2008|12:43pm] |
My departure date has moved up to the 9th. Hmm, I don't know how I feel about that. No actually, to tell you the truth, I feel good about that.
I feel like everyone is lying to me lately.
I'm getting paranoid that I'm going to get fucked over.
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[14 Jun 2008|12:21am] |
I leave for basic training on the 18th of September.
I'm glad that I finally have a secure date, I'm tired of all the uncertainties.
I got a job at Kohl's Department store and hopefully I can move into an apartment soon.
My car won't start, it looks like when I get my stimulus check I'm going to have to spend it on fixing my car. Maybe I'll get to save a little to finish the color in my tattoo on my back.
Alcohol is hard to kick entirely, I'm sure that's fairly obvious.
I've slowed down tremendously though!
I'm not thinking about it all the time anymore, I give away beers when they are handed to me, and I'm eating meals instead of replacing them with frothy beverages. Though I am still drinking, it's not my life any more. It's merely a small part of it.
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[28 May 2008|07:13pm] |
Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me because he made-out with my friend.
Color me bamboozled.
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